Lessons on charisma from a Nobel Peace Prize winner

I can’t believe it’s already February – the month of LOVE!

Despite my best intentions to have a ‘Slowanuary,’ it turned out to be an unusually busy month. I took a whistlestop business trip to Europe, stopping in Maastricht, Luxembourg, and Amsterdam.

I was also a panellist at the Institute of Translation and Interpreting (ITI) Parent & Carer Network’s sold-out webinar on building an online presence and I beta-tested my new mentoring programme for interpreters – more on that later in this newsletter.

One common theme in my conversations about building businesses has been the importance of cultivating new relationships. Beyond skills and expertise, what truly sets successful professionals apart is their ability to connect with others. Charisma plays a crucial role in fostering strong relationships, building trust, and inspiring confidence.

One of the most charismatic individuals I’ve worked with was the late Betty Williams, who won the Nobel Peace Prize after she co-founded a movement to end violent conflict in Northern Ireland, and later campaigned for peace across the world.

It’s more than a decade since I met Betty and her daughter Deborah during a UNICEF conference in Florence, but I can still vividly remember our conversation. She was articulate, intelligent and the epitome of kindness. We formed an immediate bond and kept in touch for several years afterwards through her daughter, Deborah.

So what was Betty’s secret?

In her book The Charisma Myth, Olivia Fox Cabane identifies three behaviours which combine to produce charisma: warmth, presence and power. These are largely communicated through body language and the way we deliver our words.

When I think back to our meeting, Betty embodied all three of these qualities. She asked me questions about my life, and then listened to my answers with genuine interest (presence). She was very confident (power) but also radiated warmth. She smiled as she spoke, gently touched my arm and looked at me intently with her sparkling blue eyes.

It was easy to see how she’d been so successful at inspiring people to join her peace movement.

Most people assume that charisma is innate – a natural magnetism that you’re either blessed with or not. But as Fox Cabane explains in her book, charisma is a set of skills which can be acquired with practice. She provides lots of tips and techniques for doing just that in this video. You can also find some of my own suggestions here.

How to greet your Italian clients – without embarrassment!

As February is the month of love, I thought I’d share some advice on a matter which can be the source of some cross-cultural anxiety: kissing.

I’m not talking about romantic smooches here, but the cheek-to-cheek kiss greeting.

Despite the Italian reputation for effusiveness, the kiss greeting is reserved for family, friends or at the very least, acquaintances. So if you are meeting a stranger or a contact for the first time, particularly in a business context, a simple handshake is most appropriate.

If it looks like your Italian contact is moving in for a kiss greeting, here’s how to proceed:

1) Place your hand lightly on the other’s shoulder – hugs are mainly for close friends.

2) Lean in and lightly graze your right cheek against their right (to confuse matters, in some Italian regions they start with the left cheek, but as most countries start on the right, this is your safest bet). I personally don’t like air kisses – there should be contact between your skin and theirs!

3) Repeat the process on the other cheek. Two kisses are the norm for Italians, as well as many other European countries. Belgians, the Swiss and the Dutch – as well as those in some parts of France – are more enthusiastic, opting for three. There really are no hard-and-fast rules, and of course, the person you are meeting may also be trying to adapt to your cultural norms.

Try to keep your body relaxed, follow the other person’s lead and if in doubt, offer a handshake – and remember that a warm, genuine smile that reaches your eyes is the best greeting of all.

As an Italian, I am well-versed in these customs, and I still recall a meeting with an Italian executive in Rome. He instinctively leaned in for a kiss greeting while I extended my hand for a handshake! We both laughed, turning an awkward moment into a great icebreaker that set a positive tone for our conversation. It was a reminder that even within the same culture, habits and expectations can differ, leading to unexpected but lighthearted moments.