As February is the month of love, I thought I’d share some advice on a matter which can be the source of some cross-cultural anxiety: kissing.
I’m not talking about romantic smooches here, but the cheek-to-cheek kiss greeting.
Despite the Italian reputation for effusiveness, the kiss greeting is reserved for family, friends or at the very least, acquaintances. So if you are meeting a stranger or a contact for the first time, particularly in a business context, a simple handshake is most appropriate.
If it looks like your Italian contact is moving in for a kiss greeting, here’s how to proceed:
1) Place your hand lightly on the other’s shoulder – hugs are mainly for close friends.
2) Lean in and lightly graze your right cheek against their right (to confuse matters, in some Italian regions they start with the left cheek, but as most countries start on the right, this is your safest bet). I personally don’t like air kisses – there should be contact between your skin and theirs!
3) Repeat the process on the other cheek. Two kisses are the norm for Italians, as well as many other European countries. Belgians, the Swiss and the Dutch – as well as those in some parts of France – are more enthusiastic, opting for three. There really are no hard-and-fast rules, and of course, the person you are meeting may also be trying to adapt to your cultural norms.
Try to keep your body relaxed, follow the other person’s lead and if in doubt, offer a handshake – and remember that a warm, genuine smile that reaches your eyes is the best greeting of all.
As an Italian, I am well-versed in these customs, and I still recall a meeting with an Italian executive in Rome. He instinctively leaned in for a kiss greeting while I extended my hand for a handshake! We both laughed, turning an awkward moment into a great icebreaker that set a positive tone for our conversation. It was a reminder that even within the same culture, habits and expectations can differ, leading to unexpected but lighthearted moments.